Sunday, June 10, 2012

Fed Up and a Sign

On Friday I was simply fed up.  Too much to do, too much waiting, and where the heck was the baby that was supposed to miraculously join our family??  Where???  I was crabby.  

I think Jamie was getting a little fed up, too (probably due to me talking about me being fed up).  He told me that he prayed that we'd get more information and closure on Friday.  

I had calmed down by the end of the day, and was happily picking Griffin up from daycare early.  We were heading to the library, then to the new ice cream parlor in town.  A little Mommy-Griffin date.  

I took the turn to daycare and was shocked at what I saw.  A mommy dear and her sweet little spotted fawn crossing the road.  I had never seen a deer in Mary's neighborhood.  

This may sound weird, but deer have been a bit of a "sign" for me.  Years ago, before Griffin was conceived, I was frustrated with my inability to get pregnant.  I was on the way home from Bible study and begged God to give me a sign if I'd ever get to be a mom.  Within a minute, a deer and her fawn crossed the road.  Griffin was born about 10 months later.  

During my second pregnancy, I noticed that near the same spot was a fawn on the side of the road, dead.  I miscarried soon after.

When I was doing IVF I was driving home from a movie with friends and saw a field FULL of deer...Maybe 15?  16?  17?  I went in for an ultrasound and had a crazy amount of eggs....15+!

Of course there was the time that I saw the deer with her twin fawns and I still haven't seen my twins show up!  :)

Anyway, I thought that God was giving me a sign that there would be another baby in our future.  And, for those of you that think I am reaching for anything at this point, well, maybe I am.  But, if it keeps me going, sane and positive, I'll hold on to it! 

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