This might sound pretty pathetic, but last year I had a hard time celebrating our anniversary. What makes it so pathetic is that I'm truly blessed to be married to him. Here's the deal, when I walked down the aisle to him I had a vision in my head of what was to come. Get married, have several children, drive them to soccer games and love the chaos. It obviously didn't work that way. Instead, about a year ago we were signing paperwork and great big checks to start IVF. Not what I imagined life to bring us. I knew life wasn't always going to be easy, but I certainly didn't expect the challenges to come so soon after getting married! And, for it to involve something that I always assumed was going to be easy. So, last year on our anniversary we went to a movie. I didn't want to go to dinner, I was afraid I would start crying.
This year has been more challenging than I could have imagined. Yet, yet we are still happily married. I've heard of many couples not getting through this, not agreeing on what to do next, if they should pursue more children or not, how much money is too much to spend. And, we're on the same page. Some times it's taken a while, but we get there.
So, this year, I want to CELEBRATE! Celebrate that our marriage has been through a lot, but we are still so happy together. Part of me feels like we shouldn't go too crazy and should save any extra money we have for our adoption. But, I also know it's important for us to take time for each other. We'll be better parents for it. So, we are thinking of a night or two away in Red Wing. We'll see what we come up with! And, I might start crying at dinner, but that's only because I know I am blessed beyond belief to be married to someone who has been so nurturing, kind, supportive and thoughtful during this struggle. And, he's right by my side, fighting along with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment