Perhaps the scariest part about our adoption journey is bringing Griffin's heart into it. He wants to be a big brother, and his heart was broken when we lost "his baby" at 14 weeks along. We asked our contact at Lutheran Social Services (LSS) about how to introduce the adoption concept to him. She recommended that we start talking about how some mommies can't take care of their babies, so sometimes other families take care of them. We started having discussions with him about that and explained what adoption means. He's excited about the idea of adoption, but makes comments like: "But what if no one gives us a baby?" "What if I don't get a baby?" We encourage him (and ourselves) that we will have a baby someday.
One of the other comments that really stuck with me when we had our meeting with LSS was that some adoptive parents tell their children that the baby's birth mother is deciding if she can take care of the baby, and in the mean time that they are going to take care of the baby. Then, if the birth mother decides that she wants to parent, it won't be as difficult for the family's current children.
What a tough decision. I want so badly to be able to bring Griffin to the hospital to meet his new brother or sister and talk to him about us being a family right away, but I also want to protect him from any more heartbreak.
This isn't going to be an easy road, but I know we will get through and will make the right decisions for our family. I am thankful that the three of us are on the same page, we all want to grow our family and can't wait to be blessed with a fuller home!